Fowl Play? Live Chickens Fall Off Delivery Truck Onto NYC Street

Disclaimer: While this article is lay-ered with egg-shaped facts, it does contain some cracked shells of satire.

If you were in DUMBO, Brooklyn this past Monday, you might’ve thought someone was filming “Chicks Gone Wild!” At least 15 crates of live chickens started falling off the back of a white box truck around 6 a.m., feathering out along Old Fulton St from Front St all the way up to the Brooklyn-Queens Expressway’s on/off ramps.

The truck driver carrying them continued on, not noticing his mistake until he reached his destination and doubled back. Meanwhile, nearby workers and police were scrambling to stop traffic, move crates, and chase and capture the chickens on the run.

“Listen, I’m not gonna say it was all Gary’s fault, but he’s been real restless the last coupla weeks, sayin’ that we were ‘headed to our death’ and stuff about ‘meetin’ our maker’ and we were all like ‘what are you TALKIN’ about, dude?’ So, he’s freakin out in the moving coop, and bangin’ against the side of his room which is bangin’ against the side of the moving coop and next thing we know we’re all out on the ground. Darcy passed out, Larry’s runnin off like a human with its head cut off, and all you hear is a cluck-loada chirpin’. It was real scary. Glad we’re safe.”

– Kevin Chicken, safe for now

And of all the places for this chaotic event to occur… DUMBO? Authorities have been questioning several of the chickens who broke from their crates and crossed the road (to get to the curb, not fried), and they’re discovering that Gary may not have been the only chicken with a motive to fly the coop. Turns out humans and animals alike flock to the area for that coveted shot.

“Oooooo, yes. I’ve always wanted to go to DUMBO. There’s this beeeeuuuutiful view that I always see on, like, Chick-stagram and I’ve always wanted to, like, pose there. I can’t say I pushed open the doors (that was Gary, he’s so cringe), but I maaaay have, like, distracted our chauffeur from locking them up right.”

– Kelsey Chicken (did not get the ‘Gram shot she wanted, but did find a low-key brilliant Brooklyn headshot photographer)

In this very trendy residential neighborhood, locals were just as confused by their streets littered with caged birds as the chickens were to be there.

“I was meditating while we rode along, trying to calm my travel egg-ziety and all of a sudden I was flying! We all were! Slow motion, magical, transcendent. I’ll never forget it as long as I live.”

– Sandra Chicken, lived for one more day.

Shockingly, no chickens were killed at the scene.