Missing Pink: Young Flamingo Somehow Escapes from Zoo

Disclaimer: This article is based on actual news from the real world – honestly! However, it has been sprinkled with a healthy dose of satire.

A zoo in England says that one of its “curious” young flamingos has escaped. Residents in Devon, in southwest England, are asked to be on the lookout because if they see a flamingo, there’s a good chance it’s the one that escaped.

“Actually, you don’t need to be that alert,” the zoo said. “I mean, we’re in England, so if you see a flamingo on a street, it’s highly likely that it’s the one we’re talking about.”

The flamingo is four months old, which is considered a juvenile, and at that age, flamingos are nearly as big as adults. The escapee is learning to fly, according to a zoo representative.

“In retrospect, we shouldn’t have spent our entire budget on public relations and social media engagement,” an employee said. “We should have at least spent a little money on security. But hey, live and learn. Plus, we’re getting lots of free press from this story… Oops, I shouldn’t have said that out loud.”

The zoo says that its young flamingos are starting to develop pink colors under their wings. This makes them beautiful and easier to differentiate from pigeons or other small birds that might normally be seen in a town.

“I don’t understand,” said a concerned local resident. “How can a zoo lose a flamenco? Isn’t that a Spanish art form of singing, dancing, and guitar playing that is based on varied folkloric traditions? Oh, I see – a flamingo is missing. That makes more sense. Well, I’ll keep my eyes open for it.”

“We hope the young bird is either spotted soon,” a zoo rep said, “or quickly returns on its own after realizing there’s nothing out there in the real world but pain, frustration, and dealing with insurance companies and processing fees and bureaucracies. Come back soon, friend, we miss you.”