LAKE BUENA VISTA, Fla. – Crime is committed every day, but when you think of high-crime areas, Disney theme parks are probably the last place you’d expect a heist to happen. Actually, after looking at their admission prices, maybe that’s not true. However, a restaurant at Disney Springs in Florida’s Walt Disney World was recently robbed… by someone in a scuba suit. The Paddlefish is a seafood restaurant in a steamboat on Lake Buena Vista, and the robber apparently swam up to the restaurant, did their business, and departed back into the water. 

His favorite Disney movie is Robbin' Hood. (paddlefishrestaurant.com)

This all took place after Paddlefish had closed for the day. The man showed up wearing a wetsuit, goggles, gloves, and a scuba hood, walked into the manager’s office where money was being counted and transferred to a safe, ordered two employees into a corner of the room, tied them up, and made off with a whole bunch of clams. And somewhere between $10,000 and $20,000. He then allegedly made his escape by returning to the water from which he came. 

There are a few things that are a little suspect about this. First of all, if you’re not sure of the difference between $10,000 and $20,000, perhaps you shouldn’t be in charge of counting money. Secondly, there is a picture of the suspect, and that’s because he attempted to cover a security camera with spray paint. While he might have done that, there’s still a picture of him doing it, although due to his scuba gear, it could be anyone. 

Florida Man goes from surf to turf to surf again. (Orange County Sheriff's Office)

“This was no Mickey Mouse operation,” a local policeman said. “This person clearly wanted to be part of your world. I mean, Jiminy Cricket, how could we let him escape like this? We’re sure we’ll find him, though, because it’s a small world after all.” The police will be casting a wide net until they hook him, but so far, they appear to be floundering, as he’s still at large. At least this act of crime wasn’t a phishing scam. Any local businesses should be wary of anyone making purchases that pull out a large billfold of wet cash. 

This story is based on fully factual news, but if we got it wrong, blame these guys, we’re just here to make it funny.