Disclaimer: This article is based on actual news from the real world – honestly! However, it has been sprinkled with a healthy dose of satire.
Being a criminal can be a full-time job, and if you’re going to be one, maybe you should just consider getting an actual job. But whether you’re at a 9 to 5 or stealing stuff all day, nothing takes the edge off after a hard day of labor like a relaxing dip in a hot tub, right? Unfortunately for a trio of criminals in North Yorkshire, England, their crime spree came to a stop after two-thirds of them were caught hiding in one, and instead of getting massaged by jets, they’ll be cooling their jets in prison for quite a long time.
The criminals had a sinking feeling when they were discovered. (North Yorkshire Police)
The criminals in question were their own car theft ring, targeting Audis and VWs. We’re not car thieves here at Odd News, however – and no offense to Audi and VW owners here – if we were, we’d probably be aiming a bit higher. Why go for a Jetta when you can get a Jaguar? At any rate, the modest car crew aimed squarely for the middle, terrorizing several car owners, breaking into houses, assaulting some of them, and even threatening to hit one man’s dog with a crowbar if they didn’t hand over the keys.
The switch from active to failed criminals came to a wet end after some of the stolen vehicles, which had fake license plates, were tracked as the thieves drove them. A stinger tire deflation device was deployed by the cops, or bobbies, as they’re called for some reason in the UK, successfully causing one of the cars to crash, with the criminals scattering into the neighborhood. They hightailed it into the backyard of a house where two of the three saw the hot tub and jumped in. The third, perhaps afraid of water, hid in a trailer, also in the yard.
Their low-tech getaway was short-lived. Aerial footage from the Yorkshire PD shows that, if not a helicopter, at least a drone was tracking the dim-witted crew. And it was a police dog, perhaps a relative of the dog threatened with the crowbar, that found them in the hot tub. The two had pulled the lid over to hide from the cops and also have a little privacy while they took a dip, but dogs and drones had other plans.
While this happened last year, the trio finally found out their fate recently, and it’s a doozy. They’ll each serve at least 9 years in jail, which says something about crime in the UK. American car thieves post bail the same day, stealing several more cars on their way home. So take it from us, crime doesn’t pay, and you shouldn’t steal cars, but if you do, things will probably work out better if you do that in the good old USA!
This story is based on fully factual news, but if we got it wrong, blame these guys, we’re just here to make it funny.
