5 Reasons Mother’s Day is Better When You’re A Dog Mom

Happy Mother’s Day to ALL the moms out there. Whether you have kids, grandkids, or simply helped raise your boyfriend because his own mom forgot to teach him how to load a dishwasher properly, you deserve to be celebrated, cherished, and pampered today!

Just not here— not with this article. You human moms are great and all, but you get enough praise out there in “society.” This one’s for the proud Dog Moms of America! We’re working, we’re raising our fur babies to be strong, independent pups, and all the while we’re single-handedly keeping the dog fashion industry afloat.

Dog moms do it all, and honestly, we friggin’ rule!

Haters will say that raising a fur baby is not the same as raising a real baby… To which I say, “Um, yeah, it’s like way better.”

1. No Lame Gifts

Imagine having to pretend you actually like some wack macaroni necklace and busted-ass handprint with a single scribble on it. Twenty-eight hours of labor, and you’re giving me free pasta jewelry, and a painting I now have to feel guilty about throwing in the trash? Child, please.

Dog moms never run into this problem. My son always gets me the best presents—like whatever I order on Amazon while I’m wine-drunk.

My fur-child isn’t concerned about me squandering his inheritance. Completely the opposite, he celebrates my financial irresponsibility, especially when the delivery guy rings the doorbell.

2. Mother’s Day is More Fun

Celebrating Mother’s Day by going out to a restaurant with your kids? Oh, cool, now you get to discipline those hyperactive little demons with the judgmental eyes of the public (including your mother-in-law) upon you. What could be better?

Oh, I don’t know, maybe doing whatever the heck you want. Whether you choose to rot on your couch all day and binge eat pizza, or go to a trendy outdoor brunch spot and make them regret offering bottomless mimosas, you don’t have to feel guilty or use embarrassing code words like ‘mommy juice’ to conceal your boozin’.

No side-eye from others and no epic meltdowns from your mini-mes; your dog is proud of your choices, even the bad ones!”

3. You Get to Be Hungover in Peace

Hell is real, and it’s called being around children when you have a massive hangover. The only thing worse than a pounding headache fueled by shame and tequila is having another headache asking you to watch Frozen for the 17th time in a row.

But that’s not what dog mom life is about. My boy ain’t saying a peep. He’s not annoying me, not demanding a different sippy cup, or tattling my personal business to everyone within earshot.

He knows snitches get stitches, plus, he can’t talk.

4. They Won’t Hijack Your Mother’s Day

One thing about human kids is… they’re gonna make it all about them. It may be called “Mother’s Day,” but these kids are not above stealing the spotlight with some long, pointless, meandering story about a bug they saw or doing a jump off the couch and getting “hurt,” just for the drama.

As a dog mom, I can’t relate. To my fur baby, the world revolves around me, and only me. He follows me everywhere, stares at me in stunned silence (which I can only assume is because he thinks I’m so beautiful), and celebrates like the war has ended every time I walk in the door, even if I was only gone for 2 minutes. A human child could never!

5. Not Embarrassed By You

Imagine going through hours of painful labor, sacrificing the best years of your life, and putting yourself last no matter what, only to have your kid call you “cringe” in the school pick-up line.

That’s why I became a dog mom! Also, because of the bottomless well in my soul that desperately needs love and can never truly be filled.

My fur son thinks I’m the bomb dot com even though I still talk exclusively in ’90s slang. He doesn’t care how badly I dress when I take him out in public, and he never complains about my taste in music. In fact, his favorite songs are the ones I make up and sing about him. He doesn’t mind that I’m tone-deaf. (That’s my neighbor’s problem.)

My baby boy’s never going to complain to his therapist about my ‘mistakes’ (assuming I’ve ever made any). He’s never going to say that he hates me, or that I’m too clingy, or that I can’t sleep in bed with him on his wedding night.

Dog moms everywhere know, there is NOTHING like the pure love and adoration of a fur baby!

The US Government may not recognize pets as children (yet), but I think anyone you would take a bullet (or buy ridiculously overpriced organic food) for deserves a tax write-off.

Wishing all the Dog (and Cat) Moms out there a very Happy Mother’s Day! You’re loved more than you know… just as long as you keep those treats coming.