Disclaimer: This article is based on actual news from the real world – honestly! However, it has been sprinkled with a healthy dose of satire.

But did she still keep the air fryer? (Twitter/SofiaSerrano97)

Like the old saying goes, when life gives you lizards, make lizard-ade. While that’s not an actual saying, it should be. Especially after one unlucky Amazon customer got an order from Amazon that moved when she opened it. Colombian woman Sofia Seffaro ordered an air fryer off Amazon, and she got it – but it came with a bonus surprise. A lizard that was still alive.

While it’s a jungle out there, Seffaro wasn’t expecting it to come to her in the mail. She initially took it in stride by posting a pic on Twitter exclaiming “We ordered an air fryer through Amazon, and it arrived with a companion. I don’t know if it was Amazon’s fault or the carrier’s fault, good morning!” After getting over the initial shock, she had a change of heart, posting “We already know that it was the responsibility of Amazon because the reptile was put in the bag where the air fryer was packaged.”

Amazon, for their part, couldn’t have downplayed it more. They apologized for it, like the driver left it on the second step instead of the porch or it came a day late. You can’t tell us “Hello! We’re sorry for the inconvenience” isn’t one of the biggest underplays ever. The bare minimum response to this should’ve been more along the lines of “Wait, you got a what in your air fryer? And it’s still alive? What the hell? Here’s free Amazon Prime for a year, and we’ll throw in five years of therapy as well.”

It doesn’t seem like there’s a resolution to this story, in that no one seems to know where the lizard came from, where it went, or who’s ultimately at fault in this bizarre tale, so without further information, we’ll hazard some guesses as to how this happened: 

  • She’d ordered a Lizzo CD, and Amazon thought she’d wanted a lizard, COD.

  • When she told someone, “I want an air fryer,” they thought she said, “iguana air fryer”

  • She’d saved 15% by bundling her home insurance with GEICO and was sent the gecko.

  • She’d ordered off Amazon. Not the e-commerce site, but the jungle.

  • Amazon was still at fault, but only because she’d ordered it from Amazon Primate, and they threw in a lizard instead of a monkey.