Disclaimer: This article is based on actual news from the real world – honestly! However, it has been sprinkled with a healthy dose of satire.
This is what it will look like when they're on strike. (Star5112/creative commons)
If there’s one good thing that came from COVID-19, it’s absolutely nothing. Companies realized they don’t need you to physically be at work all the time, which is good, but now you have to come back anyway for some reason, which isn’t. Maybe you learned how to make sourdough bread while quarantining at home, but when was the last time you had a craving for sourdough bread?
And then there’s the whole dining out thing. Back when it was thought that maybe touching paper could transmit the disease, they did away with physical menus, and you’d have to scan a QR code. Turns out we’re not the only ones who think they suck.
Bartenders at London board game pub Draughts will be walking off the job every Saturday this month in protest of QR codes. However, it’s not for the same reason as customers. No, it’s not that sometimes your phone won’t work because of the internet connection and when you do get it to work you go to show someone a menu item but the menu’s sideways now and you can’t find it, and oh wait, what do you mean there’s separate tabs for beer, wine, and cocktails, and everything’s in a too-small fancy font and screw it, let’s just go home. No, one of the reasons is that they’re claiming it cuts down on human interaction.
What's weird is his phone doesn't even have a camera. (Exif/Creative Commons)
“This is not just some random pub job,” Draughts bartender Brune Levi-Hamza complained to the Metro. “We are passionate about board games and hospitality, and we want to be able to recommend games and teach customers the rules… QR codes take away all that social interaction. I personally feel I don’t have as strong a connection with my tables because of them.” It is pretty hard to have a crush on the hottie you order drinks from if they’re handheld and a black and white Rorschach test that usually says “maybe I drink too much.”
Another reason is that, you guessed it, bartenders aren’t making as much money as they used to, since you have to pay for your drinks before you get them and may not be inclined to tip as well (or at all). That goes back to the last complaint – since QR codes usually don’t have much to say about the playoffs or the weather, you’re probably not going to throw them any more money because they agree with your hot takes about the National League or a nor’easter.
Unions see this as nothing less than an uprising. “These workers are showing incredible determination,” Petros Elia, General Secretary of UVW Union, said. “Hospitality bosses think they can get away with zero-hours contracts, unsafe conditions, and cutting pay through apps — but Draughts staff are proving them wrong. If management keeps dodging negotiations, our members will only escalate. This fight is bigger than one bar: It’s part of a growing movement of hospitality workers who refuse to accept poverty wages and precarity.” So basically, they’re raging against the machine, but the machine is a square image that leads to a link.
This is a QR Code to Oddnews.com, but good luck knowing that if you're reading this on your phone.
This story is based on fully factual news, but if we got it wrong, blame these guys, we’re just here to make it funny.
