Way More Egg Seizures Than Fentanyl Seizures at Borders

Regardless of which side of the political spectrum you’re on, everyone can agree on one thing – the price of eggs has gotten ridiculous. Whether it’s because of bird flu, the fact that Easter’s just around the corner, an industry hangover from a particularly busy Mischief Night last year, or just Big Egg pulling one over on us, we’re all united in annoyance over having to put eggs on layaway, which if you think about it, is how they got here in the first place. 

There are other things going on, at least from the headlines we read. Trade wars, tariffs, the borders – all of those things are happening, all right. As far as what’s going on with them, like we said, we only read the headlines, so we can’t get into that. We can, however, definitely say that there’s an increased presence at the Canadian and Mexican borders because they’re trying to crack down on contraband being smuggled into the States. If you were to guess the contraband is fentanyl, you’d be right, but also wrong, because there have been more than ten times the egg and poultry seizures than paltry drug seizures lately.

The Logic looked at the number of people attempting to bring eggs and/or the creatures that laid them into the States. They discovered a 36% increase in Canada since October compared to the same period last year, according to the U.S. Customs and Border Protection’s Detroit field office. Their San Diego field office, located neat Tijuana, observed a staggering 158% increase. That’s a lot of huevos. Although the exact number of eggs isn’t disclosed, The Logic noted that “since October, U.S. CBP officers have made 3,768 seizures of bird and poultry-related products at all U.S. borders, compared to 352 fentanyl seizures in the same period.”

It’s no surprise that smugglers are saying no to drugs while saying yes to eggs. Their street value has incrementally increased recently. Fentanyl is boring and only comes in one form. On the other hand, eggs can be scrambled, fried, or boiled, to name just a few of their delicious preparation methods. Furthermore, unless you count cholesterol, eggs are also slightly less likely to incapacitate you, and you’re probably not going to accidentally ingest an egg. That said, there could be some people who watched the “This is your brain on drugs” PSA from the ‘80s and assume that fried eggs are actually drugs.

This article is based on fully factual news, so if we got it wrong, blame these guys, we’re just here to make it funny.