World’s Richest Man’s Favorite X Account Belongs to Anonymous Rando in India

Disclaimer: This article is based on actual news from the real world – honestly! However, it has been sprinkled with a healthy dose of satire.

The Washington Post reported Wednesday that Elon Musk, the wealthiest person in human history, has spent more of the past year engaging with an anonymous X account called “XFreeze” than with any other. The account is operated, the paper found, by a man in India who mainly just posts things about Elon Musk. Three of every four posts on the account this year concern Musk or his companies. The remaining quarter of posts concern things Musk is known to dislike, but don’t reference Musk directly. The account had zero followers in 2024 and has 200,000 today, an arc the operator describes in his own archive as “working my way up the ladder,” one ass kiss at a time, apparently.

“Musk loves to be glazed, and this person is the doughnut factory,” Joan Donovan, a journalism professor at Boston University, told The Post, in a sentence the editors actually included in the article, and so will we because holy mother of god that’s an outstanding quote. 

XFreeze’s most-engaged post this year was a clip of Musk’s mother describing her son as a genius and a good person, which Musk reposted on Mother’s Day. It is the first documented instance of a man buying himself virtual flowers through a third-party account posted from another continent.

During Musk’s lawsuit against OpenAI, the presiding judge ordered him to stop tweeting about the trial. Musk complied by pivoting to quoting XFreeze posts about the trial instead. The court has not yet ruled on whether contempt can be committed by retweeting, in part because the relevant statute does not appear to contemplate a defendant outsourcing his speech to an offshore contractor. Also, it’s worth noting and probably relevant that rich people face zero consequences in American courtrooms because, based on how things have been going since early 2025, Federal Judges are apparently cowards.

The account’s public archive reads like a man obsessed with a singular goal. “How do I reach 100 followers on X?” XFreeze asked in 2024. Several months later: “Sit tight and have a view while I am working my way up the ladder.” The ladder, in retrospect, was glazing Elon Musk, who has since reposted the climber more times than any other user on the site. The Post describes the relationship as symbiotic, but we’re going with “creepy” and “on brand for Musk” in this article. 

Musk recently launched a knockoff Wikipedia called Grokipedia, written by his AI, on the grounds that the original was insufficiently flattering. The same AI, Grok, was designed to be the maximum truth-seeking AI. On the platform that he owns, the user he engages with most often is an anonymous stranger who posts that Musk is a genius and a good person. His mother said so on television first. XFreeze retweeted it. Musk retweeted XFreeze. It’s the circle of derp.