Disclaimer: This article is based on actual news from the real world – honestly! However, it has been sprinkled with a healthy dose of satire.
Ice is going through the roof in Florida, apparently. And the most logical explanation – that the big slab fell from an overhead plane – has been ruled out by investigators. So… where does that leave things, exactly?
A 6-foot by 3-foot block of ice recently fell through a metal roof in Palm Coast, Florida. Fortunately, no one was hurt. The most reasonable theory seems to be that water leaks from an overhead airplane could have caused ice to form on the outside of the aircraft. But apparently logic and the state of Florida don’t have the healthiest relationship, because inspectors at the Federal Aviation Administration didn’t find evidence of the theory on planes that were flying in the area when the ice-breaking incident occurred. Um… okay.
No one was injured – if we’re assuming that a roof can’t feel pain and doesn’t have feelings. (people/Instagram)
“I think the FAA should double-check their work,” said a local man. “Because if the ice didn’t come from a plane, that leaves few options, doesn’t it?” The rational man continued, “Of course, the local Ice Block Appreciation Club was holding its annual hot air balloon event at that exact time and location, where thousands of people ride in hundreds of balloons and toss blocks of ice to each other. But that hardly seems relevant to this story.”
The warm Florida temperatures probably caused the fallen ice to melt, according to leading scientific experts. (people/Instagram)
“I think the ice came from aliens,” said a five-year-old girl, who was immediately offered a lucrative contract to host her own podcast. “They probably meant it as a peace offering, but it slipped and caused some structural damage instead.”
A lead investigator was asked if they were certain that the ice didn’t fall from a plane, and if this means that aliens have arrived and are dropping ice from the sky. The official paused, thought for a moment, and then said, “Which do you think would be a better pun to use for a social media headline: In Plane Sight, or Ice to Meet You?” He then added, “I don’t have time for an interview right now. I need more time to think about this punny headline question.”
This article is based on fully factual news, so if we got it wrong, blame these guys, we’re just here to make it funny.
