The Kyleness of Strangers

Are you a Kyle? I know that sounds like it could be a euphemism for a male Karen, but I assure you, this is not a trick question. We just need more Kyles. Not me specifically. The city of Kyles needs more Kyles. Still sound confusing? Let me explain.

The city of Kyle, TX, is trying to beat a world record for the total number of people in the same place with the same name. This record is currently held by the city of Kupreski Kosci in Bosnia and Herzegovina, where 2,325 people named Ivan gathered on July 30, 2017. The closest Kyle got was in 2023, when 1490 Kyles (two short of what’s known as a Columbus) gathered in the small Texas town.

This was by far the best showing since they started trying for the record.  The first, “Gathering of the Kyles,” in 2018 only got 34 Kyle-tendees to come (in full disclosure, I am not sure that is what they call themselves, but it feels on-brand). They lost ground with only 27 in 2019. We all lost ground with everything in 2020. Now, in 2024, they are ready to make history… Kyle-story, if you prefer.

The real question is, ”Can they do it?” While Kyle is probably a common enough name, their marketing team has decided on, “Kyle Fair A Tex-Travaganza,” as the name. That could be a hurdle for those who don’t speak fluent pun. They also do not count middle names, last names, or variations of the name like Kyler or Kylie, making this likely just a large gathering of mostly very white men. With the Texas heat beating down, that’s going to require a solid sunblock budget.

The city also said any participating Kyles will be given a free Kyle Fair T-shirt, while supplies last. They need to rephrase that to say that the first 2,326 Kyles will get a T-shirt. Either way, that shirt better say, “Born to Be Kyle” on it or this whole thing is a bust. They can definitely do it based on the fact that they have had Kyles from all over the country and almost a thousand from Texas alone.

The attempt is taking place on Saturday, May 18th, and all real Kyles of all ages are welcome to participate but will need to provide proof of identification. So good luck, and remember…

A journey of 2326 Kyles starts with a single step.