Toddler Is China’s Public Enemy #1 After Peeing in Glass

Disclaimer: This article is based on actual news from the real world – honestly! However, it has been sprinkled with a healthy dose of satire.

If you find yourself in Hangzhou, China, at the Fuyuanju Restaurant, when nature calls, you’ll probably calmly excuse yourself, ask where the facilities are, and take care of business. However, that rule of thumb might not apply if you’re a two-year-old, and what actually did wind up happening has outraged the country, uniting them in anger against the child’s mother, who instead encouraged him to urinate into a drinking glass, then leaving it on the table and defending her actions. 

The story started when a customer at the restaurant noticed the incident and reported it to the news outlet, The Cover, which if you think about it, if the kid’s mom had used some sort of cover, perhaps no one would’ve noticed. At any rate, the customer, who went only by her last name, Tang, said that she was next to the offending table. The urinator in question announced his intention, and an elder at the table fetched a bin. The kid’s mother apparently brushed off the other receptacle, stating, “Just let him pee directly into the glass,” wionews recapped.

Much like the child, Tang was pissed. She said that the glass remained on the table, and none of the restaurant staff took any action until she complained, and it was ushered away. The mother apologized without really apologizing, stating that her kid just couldn’t hold it anymore. Tang unleashed her inner Karen by asking to speak to the manager, who replied, “Good thing they didn’t order the pu pu platter.” Actually, the manager apologized and offered Tang a refund as well as 1000 yuan (the equivalent of $140) in compensation, which she refused to take.

After doing what any sane person would do – complaining about it to a news outlet – Tang and her predicament caught on via social media and, according to the news outlet, created a huge controversy… in fact, such a big one that it has its own name: “Haidilao Urinating Gate 2.0.” Surely, you’re familiar with the original Haidilao Urinating Gate, no? See, it’s this gate in China… No, actually, that refers to an incident that took place recently at the hotpot restaurant chain Haidilao, where at one restaurant, two teenagers recorded themselves peeing into a hotpot soup. That wound up costing the company tens of millions of yuan in compensation for the customers at that restaurant, much of which likely went toward therapy. As for the pint-sized pee-er and his mom, hopefully she Pampers him in the future or at least gives him a Huggie next time nature calls.

This article is based on fully factual news, so if we got it wrong, blame these guys, we’re just here to make it funny.