Disclaimer: This article is based on actual news from the real world – honestly! However, it has been sprinkled with a healthy dose of satire.
A Serve Robotics delivery robot named Nasir crashed through the glass wall of a CTA bus shelter near North Racine and West Grand avenues in Chicago’s West Town neighborhood last month, after all three of its onboard sensor systems simultaneously failed to detect a stationary transparent object that birds, toddlers, and people glued to their phones manage to consistently avoid.
Robot humor needs a little work. (gracemiserocchi/x)
Serve Robotics described the incident as “rare,” which is also how the company characterizes revenue, having earned $2.1 million last year vs losses of $101.4 million in the past 12 months. The company is currently valued at $625 million, in case you needed additional evidence that stock traders are insane.
The company responded by purchasing an advertisement on the bus shelter it destroyed. The ad features a photo of Nasir beneath the words “Nasir is sorry,” which is a thing the company wrote and paid money to display, on purpose, in a city where thousands of people have signed a petition asking these robots to stop being on the sidewalk. “We took out the ad to apologize directly to our West Town neighbors, own the mistake, and share Serve’s commitment to continuously improving our technology,” the company said, in a statement that technically contains no lies but does contain the phrase “continuously improving” about a product that drove right into and through a wall. CEO Ali Kashani, who holds a Ph.D. in robotics and was named EY Entrepreneur of the Year in 2025, told WBEZ that concerned residents can reach out. “Every email is responded to,” Kashani said, presumably by someone who can see glass.
Three days after Nasir’s apology tour, a Coco Robotics delivery robot shattered the glass of a different bus shelter at Larrabee Street and North Avenue in Old Town. Coco’s selling point, the thing that distinguishes it from Serve, is that its robots are remotely operated by a human being at all times. Which means a person with a functioning visual cortex piloted a robot into a bus shelter at five miles per hour. Coco VP Carl Hansen called it “a rare, isolated event” and confirmed that safety remains a top priority, which is the corporate equivalent of a surgeon saying “where did the sponge go” after finishing a surgical procedure.
The delivery robot pilot program was approved by the Chicago City Council in 2022 under Mayor Lori Lightfoot and is scheduled to expire in May 2027, meaning it will outlast most of the bus shelters in the service area. Alderman Daniel La Spata of the 1st Ward, whose district includes West Town, has since blocked further robot expansion in his ward, noting that “two in seven days is not great,” a phrase that will now appear in most of Serve Robotics’ quarterly earnings reports going forward.
This story is based on fully factual news, but if we got it wrong, blame these guys, we’re just here to make it funny.
