Disclaimer: This article is based on actual news from the real world – honestly! However, it has been sprinkled with a healthy dose of satire.

The Jacksonville Jumbo Shrimp were engaged in a tense Triple-A baseball battle with the Norfolk Tides Tuesday night when Mother Nature decided to audition for the bullpen.

The trident makes you think they'd be used to lightning. Oooh, and the shrimp has lightning in its mouth! (Norfolk Tides/Facebook)

It was the bottom of the first, and the vibes were electric. Literally. Tides pitcher Roansy Contreras was mid-windup when the skies unleashed a thunderclap so dramatic it would have made Wagner weep. Startled like a squirrel in a Tesla showroom, Contreras flinched, stumbled, and got nailed with a balk, sending a bewildered runner from third base trotting home like he’d just used a cheat code.

Jakob Marsee, the Marlins prospect who’d swiped third just moments earlier, immediately began petitioning to be canonized. “It’s not every day you get an RBI thanks to Thor throwing a temper tantrum,” said literally no one because baseball players don’t give good quotes.

Norfolk had just scored two runs in the top half of the inning via a hit-by-pitch and a walk—basically the baseball equivalent of tripping over your shoelaces and accidentally winning a gold medal. So this thunder-induced drama was just the cosmos evening things out.

Fans in attendance described the moment as “confusing but somehow still less weird than the pitch clock.” One deeply emotional man in the stands insisted this was proof that baseball is “the most beautiful game ever devised,” moments before being ejected for attempting to baptize a hot dog in his neighbor’s beer.

In an official statement, MLB said this was “a totally legal balk, per rule 6.02(a), subsection ‘C’ for ‘Claps from Heaven.'” They then suggested adding thunder to every game to improve offense.

Security briefly considered evacuating the stadium until realizing Jacksonville doesn’t technically have a roof to collapse. Play resumed as if nothing had happened, because this is minor league baseball and chaos is in the job description.

Contreras will now be listed as “day-to-day with divine PTSD,” while fans await what meteorological marvel will decide the next game. Hailstorm scoring triple, anyone?

This story is based on fully factual news, but if we got it wrong, blame these guys, we’re just here to make it funny.